wal-mart paranoia

i was having a fine time at work yesterday for most of the day. everything was flowing smoothly and the shift was passing rather quickly. i was even in a good mood about it, which is surprising as of late. however, after around midnight, i started to lose it. first of all, i made a simple mistake of paging the full name of an employee over the intercom system. i never do that, but the woman i was working with told me to page "steve so-and-so," so i did. i know i shouldn't have done his full name. anyway, after i do this, i had several people come up to me and tell me that i shouldn't have. i felt like the dude in office space who keeps having people tell him about the TPS reports. as well, they all "forgave" me because i have this tag on me that says i'm in training. now, i know it probably sounds good to have them brush it off lightly because of that tag; however, it makes me upset because they all assume i have no idea what i'm doing. i do. i just made a mistake. so, that happened and that started putting me into a foul mood. later on, when i was putting out more movies, i could have sworn i heard somebody saying my name. there was this group of 20-something year olds by our $5.50 DVD dump bin. they weren't calling me, but i am pretty sure they were talking about me. i wasn't sure who they were, but one of them reminded me of some kid i haven't seen since at least 6th grade. it might have been him; although, it's unlikely he would have recognized me and remembered my full name. maybe i'm just paranoid. i don't know. so, this voice i kept hearing freaked me out and i realize how much of a loser i probably seemed to them. no offense to any wal-mart employees out there, but it's not the most respected work. it hit me really hard then and i just couldn't handle it anymore. i stayed a little bit longer to finish up some of the projects i was working on and then left. i think i'm going to freak out really soon. i'm not sure exactly what that will entail, but i'm certain i will just completely lose it if i'm there too much longer, immersed in the futility of the job. thanks for listening yet again. cheers!