it's a matter of faith

as anyone who really cares about me would know, i used to be very religious. while perhaps my ideas on certain theological topics varied over the years, my general faith remained firm. however, it's fairly ironic that my studies within the religion major have led to the downfall of my faith. since studying religion as a phenomenon around the globe and not just as a matter of truth for one particular tradition, it's been difficult to subscribe to any religious claim as truth. lately, i have become increasingly convinced that religion is merely a product of humanity. for whatever reason religions developed, whether they are sociological, psychological, or even biological, i think that they arose in order to help us deal with some external or internal force. it's pretty scary to think this when all my life i have believed that people like me would go to hell for believing such a thing or, rather, not believing certain dogmatic propositions. at this point, however, there is little hope for turning back to its safety net. i'm damaged goods. i'm still trying to figure things out, but i think i'm past the point of no return and the only thing to do is to embrace these new revelations and figure out who i really am.